Dungeons & Dragons: the Adventures of the Gilded Lilly
by PippinStrange
Summary: There be dragons, bad choices, & apocalyptic adventures unlike any other! Be a member of our party as a reader, gamer, or a role-player! I will be turning our weekly D&D adventures into short stories, including a few origin stories. We're less about rules, more about bringing great content and storytelling. Coming to Twitch 2018. Find us on instagram @thegildedlillyparty
1. Introduction to the Gilded Lilly

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 **The Gilded Lilly**

 **An Introduction**

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We are a Dungeons & Dragons group that meets weekly on Saturdays. I'll introduce you more fully to the members of the party as we go along, and include a brief cast-list. I've been wanting to type up our adventures in a story-telling format, and share the origin stories written by members of our group if they want them to be shared.

We got our name from the idea that we wanted to sound like an adventurous group of knights (even though we're not knights at all). Our Dungeon Master, Jo, has a lovely girlfriend named Lilly who has played with us once or twice, but usually she joins us just to hang out, watch, and work on art projects nearby. We thought it would be fitting to use the phrase 'Gilded Lilly' in honor of our DM's true love... and trying to sound epic.

There are things I do not understand about how Dungeons and Dragons works, I know I can explore something and roll for investigation or determine if someone is lying by rolling for perception. I let the DM make the calls, and I am always respectful of what the DM says for having the final word. If he says that spell won't work, it won't work. So if you see or read something that doesn't seem like it should work... then... don't worry about it. I don't know what edition we're playing, all I know is that it all begins at a tavern.

We are less about rules as we are for the storytelling aspect. Our DM recently saved my character even after she lost all saving throws because, as he put it, "I'm not ready to lose Pippin yet!"

Yes, my character's name is Pippin Strange, just like my fan fiction persona. The fan fiction came first. D&D helped me fully realize the character of Pippin, an expansion of the version you see in my stories, with a species change to halfling and an accent that sounds like a mix of Fat Amy from Pitch Perfect and Billie Piper (Rose from Doctor Who).

If you have interest in cohesive and hilarious adventures in the D&D world, then join us. It won't be annoying summaries that just say "Character goes to wall. Pushes wall. Booby trap sprung. Rolled Low. Saving throw. Helped by elf. Goes forward. Party passes through." It will be a little story time as if our adventures were turned into a short serial adventure book in the thirties or something. Something fun to read, like -

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 _"I don't suppose I ought to press the lever," Pippin suggests, a wicked smile stealing over her face. "Wouldn't that just be a terrible thing to do?"_

 _"It would," agrees Sassafras._

 _Thea lets out a panicked squeal, grabs the lever, and pulls it down with every ounce of strength she has. The rest of the party stares at her for a moment of amusement, which quickly turns to horror._

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See? Much more fun! Another thing to note that will be amusing will be the "Asides", moments in the party out of the character (OOC) that are too hilarious NOT to share.

For example...

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 _Buddy sashayed up to the bar and placed both hands on the counter. "Give me your finest ale and your finest barmaid to serve it," he said loudly._

 _"Zat is not hhow you find a good vwoman," Rakkas stated with understandable concern._

 _The tavern owner, a middle-aged, busty woman, looks at Buddy up and down appreciatively. "You want the finest barmaid we got?" she said, with a suggestive wink. "You're lookin' at her."_

 **(((OOC: Alec starts singing in a Peewee Herman voice. "Do you BELIEEEEEVE in LOOOOVE...")))**

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I hope you guys enjoy the fun of being a member of our party, as a reader, a gamer, a role-player, or anything in between. And in case you were wondering, yes, most of us are fans of the YouTube show Critical Role.

Have fun, slay some beasts, tell good stories.

Love,

Pip

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	2. Members of the Party

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 **The Gilded Lilly**

 **Members of the Party**

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Josiah, or "Jo"

 **Dungeon Master**

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Lilly, Team namesake

 **Huckleberry Jinn** the Javelin-Throwing Human

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Alec, my brother

 **Peeli** the Mountain Dwarf

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Me

 **Pippin Strange** the Rogue Halfling

(earlier, Lin Greenbottle, her cousin)

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Ari, my sister

 **Rinnith** the Ranger-Elf

(earlier, Buddy the Elf)

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Adam, Jo's brother

 **Rakkas** **the Terrible** Dwarf

(earlier, Glim the Gnome)

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Vanessa, Adam's wife

 **Sassafras** , a fire Genasi and healer

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Tasha

 **Maldrish** , Dragonborn warrior

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Josh, Jo's brother

 **Myro** the elderly Wizard

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Emily, Jo's sister

 **Thealin** or "Thea" the Teifling

(often shapeshifts into a Were-Bear)

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Megan

 **Captain Wendy** , a pirate Tabaxi Bard

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	3. Origin Story: Peeli the Dwarf

Note: Our first story is not a campaign adventure, or "missions" as we've been calling them, but rather an origin story written by my brother. Now, my brother has always been a creative-minded individual, but he's not really interested in writing or art as a hobby. He's a gamer, and going to school to become a firefighter. He's done so many cool things with D&D that he hasn't otherwise done, or done for a long time... he custom made a tiny bow and quiver for his mini-figurine, wrote Peeli's epic origin story, drew a portrait, and has learned the dwarven alphabet and wrote cool letters to our DM with it. I read his origin story and I was SO proud of him for creating such an intriguing origin for Peeli, giving him a tragic history and three dimensional reasons for his vendetta against orcs.

Read and enjoy, and please leave a positive review for my brother! I'd love to surprise him with them! (don't worry, he knows I am compiling and posting our adventures to the internet, so making his story public is with his blessing. The surprise will be the feedback!)

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 **Peeli's Origin Story**

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 **Written by Alec, my brother**

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It was just before dawn.

My family and I were with a supply caravan on our way to town to trade our mountain riches. We have completed many of these journeys with no problems of raid or bandits. My people always use extreme caution by not using roads, and changing routes each time. This time only the leaders of the mountain dwarf colony and my parents knew this route. My father was a tracker and a survivalist and was our guide in the wilderness to town. He taught me everything I know about living in the wilderness. He taught me how to survive. Little did I know I would need it so soon.

We were approaching a dip in the path where a slope gave way to high ground off to the left of the path. I could see a little ways ahead and a tree was down in the path. It had been raining heavily the past few days, so no one seemed to think anything of it. We stopped.

That's when I heard a quiet whistle. It wasn't any animal I had ever heard. I looked around and no one else seemed to hear it. They were busy cutting the tree in an attempt to free the path. That's when I heard a loud crack and boom that shook me in my place.

I looked to the source to see what was happening. Another tree had fallen behind the caravan.

"We're under attack!" my father yelled. He had always told me; _if you ever hear those words, you hide. Don't breathe, don't cry, just hide._

Trying to gather myself, I looked around, and that's when the first volley of arrows struck. Several of our warriors fell instantly, as well as my father's horse. He fell, recovered himself, then drew his sword. The second volley hit with a hiss through the air. One hit right by my leg - I recognized the fletching on the arrow as orcish. I only knew this from my father's books from his study.

Orcs began to rise from the brush, charging towards the rest of us. In a panic I realized I needed to hide. I could not run, they would have seen me. I realized the only box the orcs would not open is our waste box.

I opened it and got in the mush and sludge. I instantly threw up into my lap. The smell was so bad that I crack the lid to get some air. The crack gives me a peep hole into the battle. It was horrible! Dwarves lay dead all around.

My father, still in the fray, saw an orc running after my mother. "Nooooo!" he screamed. He turned to give chase, but doing so left him open to attack from the orc he was previously fighting.

The orc, not missing an opportunity, swung overhand with a war hammer, striking my father in the back. He screeched and fell over, using his hands to crawl after my mother. The orc raised his weapon again and struck down on the back of my father's head. In this moment my father passed into the next realm.

I was so distraught after seeing this that I lowered back down into the waste box. I covered my eyes in fear of what I may see.

I heard my mother screaming then.

I couldn't bear to look, for I knew what I would see. I heard a sword slash and a swoosh through the air. She instantly fell silent to a faint moan. At this point all of the dwarves have been slain.

I made no sound but tears streamed down my face and my teeth clenched.

I could hear the orcs speaking and laughing. I could not make it out though, it was all in orcish. I could tell they were moving chests because of the jingling coin.

Footsteps came over to my wagon. An orc rips back the linen tarp to see into our wagon.

The orc started sniffing, and I heard a grunt, almost like disgust. He released the tarp and walked away.

I sat in that silent, hellish purgatory for another thirty minutes to ensure they were gone.

I finally decided to leave my hiding spot. It began to rain, and I could see seam rising off the bodies with a plinking sound of the rain against the armor.

I looked around, could see them lying there helpless. My parents were dead.

"What do I do now?"

I can't go back to the dwarven halls. There is a traitor there, who wanted us all dead.

I could survive out in the wilderness, I know how to live off the wilderness and the land. I can survive the elements long enough to grow older. Then I can hunt the orcs and the traitor that gave us up to be slaughtered and left in the mud.

I must grow older, survive, learn how to fight, and hunt down the scum called Orcs. I will have my revenge on the greed that lets evil run this world.

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Don't forget to leave a review for my brother!


	4. The Dungeon: Part One

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July 27th, 2017

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The Dungeon

Part I

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The dwarf opened his eyes to a lightless place. He lifted his head from a cold, dirty floor, and beheld a dark room - a cell, if the bars blocking him inside was any indication.

This was easily remedied.

He took his greataxe and pressed the edge of the blade into the head of the screws, twisting them out and pushing up on the door, releasing himself from his unexpected prison. He could not remember how he got here, he realized, holding his axe out defensively. Had he been abducted? Drugged? Drunkenly arrested for disorderly conduct in town? Surely if he had been arrested, he would not have been left with a weapon. A careless kidnapping made more sense of they left his axe - concealed under his cloak as it were, it would be noticed by law enforcement. Goons or hired mercenaries, perhaps not.

As far as he knew, his friends were enjoying time in the nearest tavern, drinking and eating. Some time ago - whether it be yesterday or only an hour ago, it was impossible to tell for the darkness. He and the halfling, Lin Greenbottle, had been on their own adventure.

"Hello?" he ventured quietly, into the darkness. There were other cells beside his - empty. Nothing but silence and darkness, cells around a dark room, and walls far from him. It was a large room, perhaps part of a bigger dungeon.

Lin and himself had made the unfortunate mistake of stumbling upon a group of wraiths, having some sort of ceremony in the woods. _That_ was not an circumstance he would like to relive. Was Lin somewhere in this prison too? The last thing he remembered was killing the last wraith, and he and Lin were walking back to rejoin their friends in town, ready to confess just how much they regretted wandering off. But they had news to share, too. The dwarf had collected a strange necklace from the wraith, with a pendant in the shape of a triangle with a small pendulum hanging in the center. It was, perhaps, just a token. Or a symbol of something more.

He hoped his best friend, Glim the gnome, would buy him a drink after this...

But no - Glim too was here, in a cell of his own.

"Glim!" the dwarf tapped the bars with the axehead. "Wake up, gnome."

Glim sat up nearly instantaneously, his tiny red cap falling from his wild hair. Muffled exclamations of angry curses flew from his beard.

"Easy," the dwarf said, "And quiet. We do not know what enemies may be about. We appear to be trapped."

"Speak for yourself!" Glim shrieked, brushing himself off, and stomping with bitterness through the cell bars. They were too far apart to contain him. He arrived at the dwarves' feet and looked up. "Peeli!" he exclaimed. "You and Lin made it back from the woods, eh?"

"Clearly, we did not," Peeli replied dryly. "You and I seem to be waking here in a large dungeon for no reason that we can see. No sign of Lin."

An irritated _ahem_ sounded from a nearby cell. Lin's hands curled around bars and a pale, shrewd face peered through. "Consider this your sign," she sighed. "Will you let me out, please?"

Glim gazed at her. "I like you in a cell better."

"Shut up, Glimmer," Lin shot back, using a hated nickname. "Peeli, be a darlin' and let me out."

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Alec: What _is_ that accent you're using?

Dungeon Master, Jo: What is that accent?

Me: Lin's accent? I have no idea. Ask me again.

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Peeli tilted his head. "Where are you from, exactly?"

Lin shrugged. "My father was a Highlander from the Old Country, and my mother was uh... uh... an Americano."

 _That's a lie,_ Peeli thought with an annoyed sigh. He went to work on her door as well.

Glim rolled his eyes and began to examine nearby cells, finding them empty of treasures and therefore useless.

"Ey," he exclaimed. He heard the sounds of Peeli working on the hinges of Lin's cell. "Ey - come see this! I found someone!"

With a clatter of the cell door, Lin and Peeli rushed to join the gnome four cells down the wall. Inside of them was a man, bearded and in nothing but rags, looking shrunken and starved.

He looked up at them with sleepiness, swiftly contorting into fear and shock.

"Do my eyes deceive me?" he said. "I did not know there was anyone else here. Are you... my captors? Or fellow prisoners?"

"We were prisoners," Peeli said crisply, beginning to work on his cell doors too. The door swung open after a moment. "Who are you?"

"I am Paron," said the man wearily, struggling to stand.

"Tell us what you know!" Lin shrieked, half mad with curiosity and angry at being in a dark prison for no apparent reason. "Who kidnapped you? Who put you here? Where are our friends?"

"I...I know nothing," Paron admitted.

"Surely that is not true, you must have seen something," Peeli replied calmly.

"Oh? Oh really? What do YOU know?" Paron shot back. "Who kidnapped you? Why must I know all the answers?" He struggled to rise from where he lay weakly against the wall.

Lin misinterpreted this movement as a possible threat, and decided her own aggressiveness would be the appropriate response.

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Me: I take a running leap and shove my hand at his throat! I'll choke answers out of him!

Jo, DM: Roll for strength.

Me: Not intimidation?

Jo: Not if you're trying to choke him!

Me: Gotcha. (Rolls)

Jo, DM: (does the math) Uhhhhh... wow.

Me: What?!

Jo, DM: This is... unexpected.

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Lin lunged for Paron, her hand for his throat. "You will tell us what you know!" she cried, as her fingers passed right through his jugular with a horrifying, squelching sound. She bypassed the spine and her hand popped through the back of his neck, jamming her fingers - hard - against the stone wall behind him.

Eyes wide with pure horror and pain, Paron choked, gurgled, and fell back again, dead within a few agonizing seconds.

Lin howled with her own pain and shock, jerked her bloodied hand back, cradling it against her chest. "I've broken my fingers?" she shrieked, angrily and confusedly, looking at the sky as if to pray to some sort of unseen master of fate and future. "I've broken my FINGERS!" she confirmed, angrily.

"What the bloody hell did you KILL him for?" Peeli asked his small friend, surprised at her unexpected bloodlust and sheer lack of tact.

"It was an ACCIDENT," Lin insisted, her fingers throbbing painfully.

"Not an accident that you killed him," Peeli pointed out sarcastically. "You meant to choke him for answers anyhow. Severing his esophagus was the accident."

Lin brightened a little and said -

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Me: (voice sounding remarkably like Anakin Skywalker), "You underestimate my powers!"

The room: (groaning laughter)

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Glim motioned Peeli and Lin to follow him out of the cell. "Leave the body," he said tiredly. It was really quite exhausting when your friends murdered the only person who could have given you information on escaping the current predicament. _Rookies, they were! Newbies! Mewling kittens!_

"Look at these," Glim said, bending close to the floor (not a far distance) and pointing out long, thin scratches... shaped in a large square.

Lin and Peeli leaned down beside him.

The three of them looked at each other, considering. Then they brushed dirt and straw away from the scratches, digging into them, revealing a seam.

The square was a trapdoor.

Peeli found the handle, and lifted it upwards.

A yawning dark hole was beneath, with a single ladder leaning down, down, down into the darkness.

A cold wind rushed up from the void, brushing through the beards of the gnome and dwarf. Lin held on to her hat.

"Shall we?" Peeli gestured invitingly.

Glim grinned evilly at Lin. "Ladies first."

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TO BE CONTINUED

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